Ep #44: The Value of Feeling Stuck

You are listening to The Life Coach Business Podcast, episode number 44.

Welcome to The Life Coach Business Podcast, a show for coaches who are ready to up-level their business and take their impact, leadership, and results to a whole new level. If you’re ready to start taking powerful action and become the leader your business needs in order to grow and thrive, this show is for you. I’m your host, Amanda Karlstad, Certified Life and Business Coach, and entrepreneurial leadership expert. Now, let’s get down to business.

Hello and welcome, everyone. Glad to have you join me today. I hope you’re doing well, and I hope you’re having an amazing summer, wherever you’re located. I hope you’ve been staying healthy and I hope your family and your loved ones are still staying healthy, and I’m excited to talk to you about today’s topic as always.

But before we dive in, I want to give a shout-out to Lisa & Ben C who recently wrote a review, and this is what it said. It said, “Master class in business and coaching. As a new coach, I love listening to Amanda’s podcast because it’s a master class every week in how to shift your identity from where you are to where you want to be.”

I love that. Lisa & Ben C, thank you so much for your review. I appreciate it so much. And I’m so glad to hear that you’re finding value in the podcast and I love that you’re getting the importance of identity because that truly is at the core of all of this, to the degree with how we’re able to shift our identity in order to create the results that we want. It’s so, so important, and I love that you’re already picking up on that.

Alright, so today I want to talk to you about something that I think no matter what level your business is at, whether you’re just starting out or you’re already making six, maybe multiple six or even seven figures in your business, I think today’s topic is something that everybody can relate to.

And the reason I know this is because not only do I see this with every client that I work with and it’s just something that I see in general within the industry, it’s also something that has definitely come up for me. It’s something that I have definitely had to navigate in my own journey of building my own business, and that is the feeling of being stuck.

And when I think about this, it’s probably something that especially when I look at my clients, when they first reach out to me and schedule their initial call and move forward in the process and we start working together, I have to say that it’s probably the biggest reason that they’re looking to work with me.

It’s hands down the biggest reason for why they’re not moving forward in their business, and it’s this overall feeling of being stuck. And what I want to offer to you all today is the fact that this feeling of being stuck, this feeling of wanting to move forward, but the reality is that you’re not is actually one of the most important aspects of your journey.

It’s one of the most important aspects of building your business. And the reason I say this is because this feeling of being stuck, this perception of being stuck is actually on the same spectrum as your dreams. So, let me explain.

So for all of you listening, I know that you likely have a dream of building a successful business. And I know you’ve got this dream, you’ve got this goal, you’ve got these things that you want to accomplish in your business. But what I also know is that you’re likely feeling stuck right now, and maybe right in this moment or definitely you felt stuck in some moment in the past, and that’s what’s been preventing you from accomplishing your goal.

That’s what’s been preventing you from building the dream business that you really want. But what I want to offer to you is why being stuck is actually a great place to be. I believe that it’s a great place to be because by not moving forward, by not accomplishing what you really want, by things not currently being at the level you want them to be, what happens is there’s a great discomfort within us.

And in so many cases, that discomfort then becomes very intense. And when that discomfort becomes very intense and it becomes stronger and stronger, what happens is that sensation, that feeling of that actually moves us to do something about it.

And so, because that discomfort is so intense and because of the fact that we as humans, we all want to avoid pain at all costs, we tend to take different action so that we can avoid that pain. And the reason we do that is so that we can get out of that pain as quickly as possible.

So, I want you to really think about that. It’s important to understand what being stuck really is, and I think it’s even more important to understand the value that being stuck actually has in your overall journey. Because what I see happen very often is that we tend to feel stuck in one or more areas in our business or maybe even personally or both.

And we start to use this feeling of being stuck against ourselves, and it becomes a form of self-sabotage in a way where we start beating ourselves up for being stuck in the first place. And then it becomes this cycle that quite frankly can be really hard to break.

So on the flip side of this, I want you to think about using this feeling of being stuck in a way that serves you, in a way that can move you forward in a different way, that can actually be a powerful catalyst to your overall journey. And so that’s what I want to focus on is the capacity for the breakthrough that you can create when you’re stuck.

But before we get into that, I want to talk a little bit about being stuck and what that is because stuck is really the experience. It’s an internal dialogue that’s going on in our brain. It’s really a dialogue between two voices. And I believe that one of these voices is the voice of what I would call our destiny.

It’s that higher part of ourselves. It’s the authentic side of ourselves. It’s that side of ourselves that really knows what it is that we want. And that side of us also has a sense of how to get there.

And I think for many of us, and I know in my own experience as well as in a lot of my clients, it’s really just a knowing that you have where when you think about where you’re going, where you’re taking things in your business, it’s this overall sense of knowing that you’re on the right track. It’s this knowing that you’re meant to do the work.

And it’s also, I believe, the voice that’s telling you, it’s saying, come on, let’s go do this thing, let’s go for it, let’s get to work on launching this business or building out this new program, all of those things. So, I know all of you have had experience with this voice, with that side of you.

And I want you to really see that what it’s doing is it’s actually moving you into the unknown. And what happens is as you’re moving into the unknown, what happens is this other voice tends to pop up, this voice of your brain, of your mind, of your ego, which is essentially the survival part of you.

And so sometimes we refer to this as the lizard brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. It’s really our survival wiring. And its job is to keep us safe. So because we have these two sides, there’s this natural internal conflict that happens.

And because everything that you want is in uncertainty, so the business you want, the dream that you have is actually lying in uncertainty, it’s in the unknown, the problem is that the more dominant part of our brains, of our minds actually want to keep us safe and secure in what we know, in the known.

And so, what happens is this dialogue and the emotions that are triggered from that, that feeling of being stuck, it becomes feelings of anxiety or in some cases depression. And it can be feelings like we’re not really living the life that we’ve dreamed of living. It becomes worry. And all that manifests then is the complaining and resentment and even some cases, anger. And all the ways that we might be showing up in life that we don’t feel good about.

So, I want to talk for a minute about what we do about this because the first think we have to do is we have to become aware of what is actually going on. And I think a really good way to do this is to get honest with yourself about what it is that you want. And I think you have to listen to the voice in your head, your ego that’s telling you why you can’t have it.

And so, in order to do that, it requires that you listen to those reasons, that you listen to those stories, that you do listen to those limiting beliefs. And I think a good way to do this is to start just jotting down what comes up for you when you think about accomplishing your goal.

So it might be something to the effect of I’m not good enough, I’m not doing enough, I don’t have enough time. And what this does is it really builds a level of self-awareness that allows you to see this on a different playing field. And it’s important because when you look at what you write down, that’s actually a reflection of where your belief system is at.

So what I would recommend doing is the first thing to do is to start getting connected with that internal dialogue, with what we would call self-awareness. And I want to reiterate here that your beliefs, they’re always going to be dictating the actions that we take. They will always be dictating our behaviors.

So once you become aware of the things that you’ve been believing for a very long time, the next thing to do is to actually question those things. And a great primary question you can ask for this is simply, is this true?

So for example, it could sound like is this really true that I can’t figure out what I need to do in order to move forward in my business? And another great way to question this could be how is the opposite true? Meaning how is it absolutely true that I will build a successful coaching practice?

So, here’s what I want to offer. Our brains are like the most extraordinary piece of technology that we’ve ever been given. However, none of us have been given a manual along with this piece of technology. We haven’t been given manuals for our brains.

And so, because our brain is this extraordinary technology and because of the fact that we don’t have a manual for it, what happens is our brain goes and finds an answer to every question we ask ourselves. And the truth is that in most cases, for most people, we ask ourselves really bad questions.

And so, one of the big keys to all of this is that you have to start asking better questions, and you’ll start getting better answers. And so, once we have a better understanding of what this internal dialogue is and once we start asking these better questions and we’re starting to get these better answers, then it’s time to start making new decisions. It’s time to look at our belief system and decide moving forward what we want to believe, what we want to create.

And from there, we have to lean into trust. Because what happens is as soon as we make these decisions, as soon as we get our brains and get our brain enrolled on focusing on those outcomes, that’s when the ideas start to happen.

And so, when I think back to myself and earlier on in my own journey, I didn’t know how I was going to do this. I didn’t know how I was actually going to build my business for a time, but I also made a decision that I was going to do it.

And what happened was is slowly but surely, I started to take inspired action. I started having more ideas and more inspired ideas about what it was that I wanted to do. And what happened was is that motivated me to then take action. And from there, I started enrolling clients.

And so, others were starting to reflect back to me the things that I thought I wanted to do and opportunities started to show up. So, what I want you to take from this conversation is that what’s important is that you make the decision, not necessarily figure out the how. The how comes during and really afterwards once you do it.

But from that point, we can start to loosen up a bit. We can start to let go a little bit of being so married to this stuck feeling, and we can start to create some action. We can start to create some motion in our business that feeds upon itself and builds momentum.

And so, the only thing that really can stop you at that point is fear. And we all know that fear stands for. False evidence appearing real. And it’s being able to forget the fact that every time you’ve been successful in your life, you’ve decided that you were going to take action.

So, I hope this episode served you all. I hope that this is a reframe that you’re able to use if you’re currently feeling stuck or if you are listening to this podcast and are reflecting on maybe a time that you were feeling stuck, you can probably see where in so many cases, this is actually the catalyst to your next level. It’s actually being in that state of feeling stuck is actually what is going to take you to that next level.

So I hope this episode served you. Start asking yourself some better questions. Build some self-awareness, appreciate the stuckness for what it is, and I’ll talk to you all again next week. Take care. Bye-bye.

Hey, if you’re ready for a real breakthrough in your business and want to grow and scale your business to at least six figures or more in annual revenue, I invite you to apply for my exclusive program The Mastermind atamandakarlstadcoaching.com/the-mastermind. I look forward to seeing you there.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Life Coach Business Podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build, grow and scale your business and accelerate your results, visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com.