Ep #95: Self-Doubt is a Choice

You are listening to The Life Coach Business Podcast with Amanda Karlstad episode number 95.

Welcome to The Life Coach Business Podcast, a show for coaches who are ready to up-level their business and take their impact, leadership, and results to a whole new level. If you’re ready to start taking powerful action and become the leader your business needs in order to grow and thrive, this show is for you. I’m your host, Amanda Karlstad, certified life and business coach, and entrepreneurial leadership expert.  Now, let’s get down to business.

Hello and welcome everyone. So glad to have you here. Welcome to today’s show. I hope you’re doing well. We are doing amazing. We’re enjoying summer. It’s hard to believe that we have just a few weeks left, and already the kids will be back in school. We had a really great weekend. Our son just turned four. He’s our youngest, and he just turned four. For those of you with kids, four is such a fun age. We just had a great birthday. Lots of family. Lots of time outdoors. It was so good to see everyone again and to get together.

So I hope you’re enjoying your summer or whatever season you’re in depending on where you’re listening in from. I say that because I know we have so many listeners from around the globe. I want to just take a minute and really thank you all. I have been getting so many messages and so many emails from so many of you about the podcast. Letting me know how much you love the show, how it’s helping you, how it’s helping you to grow and scale your business.

I want you to know how much I appreciate your comments. How much I appreciate your reviews, your emails. It just makes it so much more fun to deliver this podcast to you every week. I’m so happy that I get to talk to you all each and every week in this show. I love ultimately that this podcast is having an impact on you. It’s impacting your business, and it’s impacting your life.

So with that I want to sincerely thank all of you because recently I was looking through some data. The Life Coach Business podcast is actually ranked in the top 10% of every podcast. So in all categories of podcasts, The Life Coach Business podcast is ranked in the top 10%.  I just want to thank you all. I want to thank you all for listening, for sharing, for showing up each and every week. I really do love delivering this podcast to you each and every week. I’m so, so grateful that you’re here.

With that, I have something else very special that I’ve created for all of you. So over the past several weeks, I have been very busy behind the scenes creating something that I have really wanted to create for a while. It’s something that I am super excited about, and it’s something that I know is going to bring a ton of value to you. So I’ve created a very special three part private podcast series that’s only accessible through a private link. So you’re not going to get access to this through the private feed. It’s actually something that you have to access through a special private link.

I’m going to give you that link here in just a minute. But I want to tell you this private podcast series, this exclusive series that I created. I titled it The 3 Vital Shifts Every Life Coach Needs to Rapidly Scale Their Business. I decided to do this private series around that topic because I know so many of you are in that process. I know so many of you are looking for resources, and you’re looking for help. You’re needing clarity when it comes to really taking your business to that next level.

So I’ve really distilled everything down into the most powerful teaching, the most powerful content when it comes to exactly what you need in order to scale your business. So I’m so excited for all of you to access this, and to listen to the series. My goal with this series is that it really helps catapult your business growth. That it really helps position you for what I call a quantum leap in your business. So I’ve put it all into this free three part private podcast series that’s only accessible through the link.

So I want to invite you. If this sounds like something that you’re interested in, I want to encourage you to go to amandakarlstadcoaching.com/3-vitalshiftspodcast-2. We’re going to link that up in the show notes. I know that’s a little bit long of a length. So we’ll have that in the show notes as well. You can go to my website. You can find that in the show notes of this episode. Again, it’s amandakarlstadcoaching.com/3-vitalshiftspodcast-2.

So I want you to go there right now. I want you to access this free three part private. It’s a very exclusive private podcast series that I’ve created for all of you that will help you take your business to the next level. It’s full of actionable content and strategies that are going to help you expand your thinking. It’s going to help your strategy and how you overall approach your business. So, again, I’ve distilled down the three most important shifts that you as a coach need in order to take your business to that multiple six figure and eventually seven figure level. I’m really, really proud of it, and I know you’re going to get a ton of value from the series.

As an added bonus, for those of you who listen to the private series, for those of you who access the private series and download and go through the private series, you’re going to hear. There’s going to be a very special and exclusive invitation for you that you are going to receive. That’s only available through the private podcast series. I promise you, you do not want to miss out. So, again, go to amandakarlstadcoaching.com/3-vitalshiftspodcast-2. You’ll be able to immediately access the series and start listening. I can’t wait to see you there.

All right. Let’s dive into today’s episode. Today I decided that we are going to talk about self-doubt. I decided to focus an entire episode today on this topic because I have to say that this is one of the things that I see most clients, most entrepreneurs, most coaches struggle with the most when growing a business.

What I want to offer to all of you today is that the self-doubt that you’re hearing, the self-doubt that you might be hearing in your mind. That might be coming up for you right now in this moment even. I want to offer to you that it’s really an optional thing. What I mean by that is that you don’t have to believe it.

So I want to spend some time today and talk about exactly why this is and offer you some tools and some strategies that you can implement right now. You can implement today to help move yourself and ultimately your business forward.

All right. So I think it’s important to understand that when it comes to self-doubt, that there are different types of self-doubt that we can encounter. Some of that self-doubt, and in fact a lot of the self-doubt that we experience, comes from a habitual pattern of thinking. Okay? It comes from a patterned way of thinking that in many cases was conditioned in us from a very early age.

So let me give you an example of this. So for many of us, when we were very young, we had experiences that whether it was our parents or whoever it was that was close to us that maybe had the responsibility of raising us. That over the course of that experience, there was probably something that someone said to us at some point that on the surface was probably an innocent comment, right? The truth is that as children, we internalize things very differently. Especially as a child, we tend to assign meanings to things that are said to us.

So even if it was something that was well intentioned. So if we were a child, and let’s say that your parents said something to you. You interpreted that comment from your parents or whoever it was that was close to you that was raising you. If you interpreted that in a negative way, in most cases that interpretation, that meaning that you assigned to the situation to that circumstance.

Because it was such an emotional experience for you because it triggered some level of emotion from you, your subconscious held on to that belief. It held on to that meaning that you assigned to it, even if it wasn’t true. Because your subconscious believes it to be true, what happens is your subconscious then holds onto that and goes out into the world and finds evidence of this being true whenever it can.

So this is really, really important to understand. So that is definitely one way that self-doubt can come into play. When we’re facing or experiencing certain things in life or in businesses that can trigger some of those old emotions. That triggers those habitual patterns that for most people are formed at a very young age.

Another way that I see self-doubt creep up and that I see effect most of the clients that I work with is the self-doubt that is triggered by the thoughts and the beliefs that we assign to certain things. This is especially true if you’re growing a business. Here’s what I mean.

When you go out and build a business, when you go out and you decide, “Hey, I’m going to build this business.” It’s inevitable that the process alone of launching a business, growing a business, scaling a business is going to challenge you in new and different ways.  The reason this happens is because your business does not exist, right? Your business does not exist until you actually go out and launch the business.

So while you might have a clear vision of your business and while you might have a great idea of what you want to build, you might be in that process right now. The truth is that it’s inevitable that you’re going to be forced to grow and evolve in so many new and different ways. This is why I talk all of the time of the journey, the process of who you become in this journey, and why that’s such a gift. It’s such a gift because it requires that you evolve into your highest version of yourself. It requires that you continue to expand and grow.

As we move through the process and we start to do new things and build new neural pathways, we have to understand what’s happening at a physiological level. So at a physiological level, because we’re shifting into that next version of ourselves, because we’re shifting into that highest version, there’s effort that’s required to do that. It can be very, very intense. I have to tell you. For most of my clients, this tends to be the hardest part. The inevitable shift in identity that’s required as you become that next level leader your business needs.

So on a physiological level, what’s happening is that your brain is looking to be efficient. It’s always looking for ways that it can conserve energy. So what happens is when you’re moving into this next level version of yourself, the truth is that it’s anything but efficient. It’s anything but comfortable.

The result of this is that when we encounter these scenarios, when we feel that discomfort, when we encounter certain circumstances in our life, we start to assign meaning to them. In so many cases, we’re assigning a negative meaning to them because of that discomfort. It’s because of the growth that we’re experiencing that it doesn’t feel normal. In a lot of cases, it feels hard. It’s because of the way that we’re choosing to think about it.

So that’s the really great news. It’s the meaning that we’re assigning to whatever that thing is. The meaning for most clients that I work with, for most entrepreneurs. As they’re going through this process, they start to assign new meanings to things. Some of those meanings can sound like, “I’m not good enough. Or nobody is going to want or pay for what I have to offer. This isn’t working. I don’t know if this is ever going to work out. How do I know if this is going to work out?”

So when we start to assign those types of meanings to things, those thoughts that we assign to those circumstances, those then go on to trigger those feelings of self-doubt. The reason that this is really important to become aware of for yourself is because self-doubt if left unattended, if left to its own devices can be a very dangerous thing for a coach who’s trying to build a business. It’s because so many of us have so many limiting beliefs and stories that are wrapped up around self-doubt and wrapped around what we think about ourselves, right? What we think about certain circumstances.

So when we go out and we encounter a situation that challenges us. When something doesn’t go as perfectly as planned or how we maybe think it should go. Once that door to self-doubt is open, it’s extremely difficult unless you are doing the work. Unless you have a level of awareness to this, it’s really difficult to move beyond.

I have to tell you all. I think this is one of the most misunderstood parts of the process of building a business. It’s the self-doubt that will inevitably come up, and that does come up for each and every one of us. So I want you all to think about something. Whenever you choose to evolve, whenever you choose to do something great in your life like building a business that literally impacts hundreds and hundreds of clients, for example. It’s really important that you understand that self-doubt is going to be part of the deal.

What I mean by this is that just because you’re on the journey of building a business, because you’re in the business of transformation, because all of you are doing deep work. You’re doing transformational work with your clients. It’s important to understand that you’re going to experience a lot of self-doubt in this journey. It’s also a great thing that this happens. It’s a great thing because self-doubt equals evolution. Self-doubt tells you that you’re becoming that next version of yourself.

What’s really important here that I want all of you to really hear me on this is that just because you might be experiencing self-doubt on your path right now, it doesn’t mean that anything has gone wrong. In fact, you’re probably getting that much closer to that next breakthrough that has the potential to take you and your business to exactly where you want to go.

So I want to encourage you to welcome it. I want to encourage you to not assign any other meaning, especially a meaning that isn’t serving you or serving your business. Because there’s something really important with all of this. I’ve watched this happen time and time again both with clients, and I’ve also experienced this myself. Where you might be in a situation where you might be questioning whether or not your goal is going to happen, right? Whether or not you’re going to create the result you most want to create.

What happens is that door of self-doubt, it tends to open right up. When that door opens up, it’s extremely hard to close it. The reason for this is because this is many times on a subconscious level, right? It can feel very intense. What also happens is that it feels like the truth.

So I really coach so many of my clients on this when I see that they’re experiencing some form of self-doubt in their business. One of the things that tends to happen is that they operate in a way as if the self-doubt, as if whatever those thoughts are that are creating that self-doubt, as if that’s the truth. As if that is true rather than remembering that they have a choice on how they’re choosing to operate in a certain way. That they have a choice on how they are thinking about a particular circumstance in their business.

So what happens is that we don’t even question the thoughts that end up creating the self-doubt. I see so many coaches that are going out and they’re trying to build their business and they’re trying to implement so many things in their business, but they’re doing it from a place where the truth is that the self-doubt is in charge. The self-doubt is actually driving the car.

When you’re trying to do it from a place like this, when you’re trying to do it from a place where the self-doubt is in charge without question. Unless you become aware of this, unless you manage your brain effectively, unless you rewire your thought process, the self-doubt will only become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is a really important distinction for all of you to make.

So when the door gets opened, because again in most cases we’re always assigning meanings to things. It doesn’t matter what level of business you’re at. Those narratives that surround those beliefs in our subconscious mind, those patterned habitual ways of thinking that is what is at our core. That is what is at the deepest level of our mind, that subconscious part of ourselves. It will go out. Our subconscious mind will go out and work on proving that each and every day. When you’re in this place, it can be a very, very painful place to be.

So I want you all to know that self-doubt is part of the deal. Know that self-doubt is actually a choice. I want to share with you all that this is something that I have worked extremely hard at in my own personal journey over the years. In my own personal work is the work of rewiring my thoughts and minimizing the self-doubt in my own journey. Building a belief system and building a way of thinking that actually serves me, that actually serves my business.

A lot of people ask me what is my secret. The honest truth is that it comes down to a lot of different things. At the end of the day, I want you all to know that it’s a daily practice. That it requires daily effort to do this level of work. To really see what your brain is offering up. It’s something that I’ve decided that I’m always on guard with.

What I mean by that is that I think one of the greatest responsibilities that you have as a business owner, that you have as a coach is to stand guard at the doorway of your mind. It’s your job to choose every single day which thoughts get in and which thoughts get out. I have a number of ways, again, that I work through this, that I do this on the daily basis. One of the ways that I want to offer to all of you is by asking yourselves this very simple question. That question is “Is this true or what’s the truth in this?”

So those are two really great questions that you can ask yourself that can help bring so much clarity to your situation. That can help you move out of that self-doubt and really get into momentum quickly.  Because when you can see that self-doubt is a natural reaction to growth. When you can see that it’s only created in the mind and that you have a truth whether or not to believe it, you can also see that your growth and the success that you want to create in your business and in your life will only be limited by your own self-doubt. It’s understanding you’ll only be limited by whether or not how you choose to think about that thing in your business and your life.

So I want to leave you all with this. I want you to know that your only limit when it comes to growth, when it comes to growth in your business, when it comes to your growth as a leader of your business is your ability to move beyond your self-doubt. It’s your ability to move beyond your doubtful thinking. I want you all to really hear me on this.

Because if you want to grow into that highest version of yourself, if you want to build your business to whether it’s six figures or multiple six figures, definitely seven figures, you have to understand that your level of growth is going to be determined by how you’re able to move beyond your own self-doubt. How you’re able to overcome the self-doubt in the moments where it really counts.

So I want to encourage you all to not allow yourself to be defeated by your own self-doubt. So not all into the trap of believing that your self-doubt and the stories that it plays over and over are actually the truth. Remember that self-doubt is a choice. So is success. So is the business that you most want to create. All right my friends. Have an amazing week. I’ll talk to you all again very soon. Take care. Bye, bye.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Life Coach Business Podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build, grow, and scale your business and accelerate your results visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com.