Ep #56: Fear

You are listening to The Life Coach Business Podcast, episode number 56.

Welcome to The Life Coach Business Podcast, a show for coaches who are ready to up-level their business and take their impact, leadership, and results to a whole new level. If you’re ready to start taking powerful action and become the leader your business needs in order to grow and thrive, this show is for you. I’m your host, Amanda Karlstad, certified life and business coach, and entrepreneurial leadership expert. Now, let’s get down to business.

Hello and welcome, everyone. Thanks for joining today. I hope you’re doing amazing. I am doing amazing. Trying to stay warm. It’s almost Halloween here in the US and I can’t believe it. I can’t believe we are heading into the final weeks of 2020. And I know many of you are ready to turn the page to 2021. And I have to say, I’m kind of with you on that. So, I think this is actually good timing for the conversation that I am bringing to you today.

So, today, I want to talk to you about fear. And I feel like this is going to be a timely conversation because if anything, when I think about 2020, I think in so many ways, we have all been challenged with fear. We’ve been challenged in new ways with fear.

And I know personally for me, that’s absolutely been the case. And so, it’s something that I’ve been observing a lot lately in clients, in just society. It’s something that I’ve noticed even myself feeling new states of fear. And it’s just something that I think is really important to discuss.

It’s a topic that can be a very big emotion. It’s an emotion that, many times, we can spend a lot of our time in. And I think it’s really pertinent to talk about this, especially as you’re growing, building, and scaling a business.

So, when we’re building a coaching practice, fear tends to come up very often when we’re building a business. Anybody that’s an entrepreneur can speak to this. And I find that fear comes up very often and, in many ways, it seems like it kind of inserts itself into our experience. It just kind of appears and we just kind of find ourselves, I think, in these states of fear or in a state of fear at times when we’re not even, in a lot of cases, conscious of it.

And so, I think it’s important to start today to think and have a conversation about what fear really is. And so, I want to frame this up by saying that I know for all of you listening to this podcast right now, I know 100% that all of you have felt some level or you’ve had some experience where you have felt fear in your life. I know I have.

And so, as we’re talking about this today, I want to frame this in a way that I’m not talking about this in a way where we’re maybe in a physically dangerous situation. So, that’s not the type of fear that I’m talking about.

The type of fear that I’m talking about today is the type of fear that we experience as we’re building our business, as we are growing and scaling and working in our business. And so, I want us to keep that frame in mind as we’re having this conversation today.

And so, the first thing that I want to offer to all of you is that it’s important to understand that fear is an emotion. And fear is an emotion that is triggered by our thoughts. So, the truth is, is that fear is something that’s actually created within us. It’s never anything outside of us.

So, when we look at that, when we look at the fact that our fear is an effect of the thoughts or the beliefs or the patterns that are present, it’s important to understand that fear isn’t something that just happens to us. It’s important to understand that fear is created by us.

And so, for many of us, depending on what our life circumstances have been, depending on how we perceive certain things in our lives, certain things in our businesses, fear in so many instances can come in as almost a default setting. And for many of us, fear can be a pattern. And it’s especially the case when we have maybe had experiences in our life or different things that have happened to us where we have been forced to really live in a state of fight or flight.

And so, because of that, it’s very often that it’s almost a default setting. And it can be a pattern of emotion that can become very highly present within us. And so, I think it’s important to understand that while it is something that we feel, it is an emotion, it’s a vibration that we feel in our body, it’s important to understand that it’s triggered only by our thoughts.

So, I want you to think about that for a minute because when I observe clients or observe others in the industry that are maybe more in the beginning stages, maybe haven’t had a whole lot of wins, let’s say, in their business, I tend to see that fear creeps in more and more and more, and more and more strongly as that person is really bumping up against and being confronted with new levels, when they’re really in a state where they’re up-leveling themselves, they’re up-leveling their business. It’s very, very common that fear is part of the equation.

And what’s important to understand is that, when that happens, what’s really, in most cases, going on is that there is a belief system or there’s a pattern, there’s a habitual pattern that, again, could have come from previous experiences. But there’s some type of pattern or belief system that tends to creep in, that tends to be in the driver’s seat and tends to trigger those feelings of fear.

And so, again, obviously, this is going to be different if this is a situation where we’re being attacked by a wild animal, for instance. And so, there are certain instances where fear is useful, where fear does serve us. And that’s a different story. But today, we’re talking about the context of building a business.

So, it’s a topic that, like I said, it’s something that I know, for many, many entrepreneurs and many coaches that I work with, that at different points in this journey, when you’re building a business, it’s very common to feel fear. And so, the purpose of fear, first and foremost, is that when you think about back to the caveman days, back before 2020 – I’m recording this episode in 2020 – there actually was a really important function of fear.

And that function of fear was really keeping us safe. And it was keeping us safe, when you think about those caveman days, when you think about what life was like, it was really keeping humans safe from that sabertoothed tiger that was outside of the cave.

And so, from that perspective, from that evolutionary perspective, that was a really important function of our brains at the time. But if we fast forward that to today, here in 2020, what’s important to understand is that that is still in play. That primitive part of our brain that was literally keeping us safe from the sabertoothed tiger back in the cave is now still operating in the same way. It’s part of our wiring. It’s part of our primitive brain.

And so, the fact is that we’ve evolved as a society. We’ve evolved tremendously in our world. And the reality is that for most of us, and especially I’m sure those of you listening to this podcast, it’s probably pretty likely that you’re not looking at a sabertoothed tiger outside of your window.

You’re not in a state where you’re in a place where you need to have that level of fear. And so, I guess this could depend on where you live. But if you walk outside of your house, for most of us at least, there isn’t a real danger of being eaten by a wild animal.

However, it’s important to know that our brain is still operating from that primitive part where it’s still trying to keep us safe in that way. So, what happens is, when we get into situations in our business, when we get into situations in our lives where we feel or we perceive something as a threat, when we don’t feel safe for some reason, many times what happens is we automatically revert back to that default setting, back to that default state of fear.

And so, going back to my original point, what’s really important to understand is that fear is always going to be driven by our thoughts. So, here’s the good news with that. If we know that fear is triggered, it’s driven by our thoughts – and for those of you that have listened to my podcast episodes, if you follow my work, you know I talk a lot about this. For those of you that are new, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to previous episodes. But this is a large part of the work that I do with clients.

A large part of the work that I do to really help my clients shift into those next levels is helping them to rewire those belief systems, to rewire those patterns, to really be looking at what is happening inside of us with those thoughts that we’re having.

And so, a really important first step here is to first become aware of what our thoughts are. And that’s really the first step to awareness. And it’s especially important when we’re looking at fear and when we’re looking at the consequence of fear.

So, while yes, fear can definitely serve us in physically dangerous situations, for example, in most cases, especially when we’re building a business, fear is actually not serving us. And yet, when I look around and when I interact with entrepreneurs and business owners, it’s a really common emotional state that I observe.

And I like I said, it’s something that I know myself, I have also had experience with. And part of that is because it is so primitive. It’s within us. But I want to tell you that fear also can be one of the biggest dream-stealers that’s out there.

And so, because I know all of you that are listening to this show are building your business, you’re scaling your business, you have big goals, I want to encourage you to take a look at this for yourself. I want you to consider, how present is fear in your life? How present is fear in the process of you building your business?

And a good way to do this is just look at the last couple of days, look at the last week. Just think about the last few days where you’ve been likely working on your business. You’ve been maybe meeting with clients, whatever that looks like. Take a look at what your experience has been.

I’m sure for most people, there are instances or there are times just in the last few days where you’ve probably felt some level of fear, where you’ve probably felt a form of fear somewhere. And I want you to know that this is completely normal.

But it’s also important that, as you work to move forward, as you work to evolve and to grow into your next level, that you start to take a look at what’s behind that fear. Because in so many cases, I think this becomes an unconscious state.

Because it’s a default setting, because it’s in our wiring, unless we’re intentionally really looking at this, a lot of times, we find ourselves living in a state of fear. And sometimes, that turns into anxiety and panic and, you know, different things. But by engaging in it, by perpetuating the thoughts and not really looking underneath the hood, so to speak, as far as what those thoughts are, as far as what those belief systems are or what those habits are that are coming up, what very often happens is it starts to manifest in so many different ways. And it starts to take us off track, so far off track in our business.

And it gets to a place where it becomes very difficult to even think clearly. And so, I want you all to take a look at this for yourself because in this type of scenario when you’re building a business, when you’re putting yourself out there on social media, when you’re doing all of the things that you’re doing, fear is normal. But it’s also not that useful. And it’s also not something we want to entertain because it’s not really necessary.

And especially when we think about building the business, it’s one of those emotions that I see just paralyzes people in many cases, where it just stalls them from moving forward and they start to spin in so many different ways.

And so, it’s important to understand that when we are in this state of fear, when we do have this chemical response happening in our body, it’s that response that preps us, really prepping and preparing us to take action against that wild animal. But the reality is, there’s no wild animal.

And I see this again for so many coaches and entrepreneurs that are building their businesses. I see them get caught in these fear cycles. And while it is normal, it’s also not necessary and it’s also not serving you.

So, know that fear, this type of fear is normal because you are being faced with so many unknowns. You, as you’re building a business, are being faced to grow and evolved yourself in so many new ways so that you can evolve your business. And it’s like the saying that I always say, that in order to grow a business, you have to first grow the leader, and that is you.

And so, we can’t really evolve into that next version. We can’t already know what that version, that next version is because we’re not there, right? Because if we did, we’d already be there. We’d have already evolved into that next version.

And so, because of this, because we’re in this journey of building a business and it requires that evolution of ourselves, when it requires us to evolve into these new levels of ourselves, there is the unknown. There is the unknown that in so many cases, the thoughts then that we have about those unknowns trigger the fear.

Just know that it’s because our brain is wired to do this and it’s common for this to happen. But it’s also something important to understand that you can overcome. And the way that we can do this is by first looking at those belief systems, looking at those thoughts, looking at those habitual patterns and seeing what is triggering that for us.

And so, for those of you that are relating to the message, take stock of the last few days. Think about what were those emotions that you were feeling. Think about those times where you found yourself in a state of fear. Take a look at that and ask yourself, what was I thinking? What was the actual circumstance, the actual fact of what was happening and what was I thinking?

For some of you, it might be enrolling clients. It might be something to do with your marketing. It might mean putting yourself out on social media. There are so many different scenarios. But I want you to take a look at that for yourself and look at what that circumstance was, and then find out what was happening in your brain.

Notice where your brain took you. Ask yourself, “What kind of thoughts was I having? What was I focusing on?” Because I think what you’ll find is this; because we are in this process, so often confronted with new situations and new things that force us to develop our skills, our brain immediately responds and immediately triggers fear.

But the problem is, it’s not useful and it’s not going to be useful going forward. So, we have to first overcome the thought process, the belief system, the patterns that are creating that in our life. And once you can see what those are, I want to encourage you all that you have choice in how to respond to those. You have a choice as far as what you want to believe; what you want to believe about your business, what you want to believe about your current circumstances, whatever it is.

It’s extremely powerful and it’s important work. And it’s important work because if we don’t address it, if we don’t address the fear, so often what happens is we put our dreams on hold. We dim our light. And we hold ourselves back.

So, when you’re willing to feel the fear, when you’re willing to face the fear, when you’re willing to look at the fear, that is when you can choose. That is when you can choose how to move forward and start building momentum. That is when you can start to move things forward in your business and get the result and create the results you want most.

Alright, everyone. I hope this episode serves you well. I’ll talk to you all again next week. Take care. Bye-bye.

Hey, if you’re ready for a real breakthrough in your business and want to grow and scale your business to at least six figures or more in annual revenue, I invite you to apply for my exclusive program The Mastermind atamandakarlstadcoaching.com/the-mastermind. I look forward to seeing you there.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Life Coach Business Podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build, grow and scale your business and accelerate your results, visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com.