Ep #23: Evidence and Self-Belief

You are listening to The Life Coach Business Podcast, Episode number 23.

Welcome to The Life Coach Business Podcast, a show for coaches who are ready to up-level their business and take their impact, leadership, and results to a whole new level. If you’re ready to start taking powerful action and become the leader your business needs in order to grow and thrive, this show is for you. I’m your host, Amanda Karlstad, certified life and business coach, and entrepreneurial leadership expert. Now, let’s get down to business.

Hello and welcome, everyone. I’m so glad you’re here. I hope you are doing well. I’m doing amazing. I am getting ready to go to Dallas here in just a couple of days for a workshop that I’ll be attending through The Life Coach School. It’s going to be a business workshop that is going to be led by Brooke Castillo, who I know many of you are familiar with.

She is putting on a workshop for all of her certified coaches. And I know it’s going to be amazing. So, I’m really looking forward to it. And it’s super-exciting because, as you all know, I work primarily with certified coaches who are building, growing, and scaling their coaching businesses.

And so, with that, I do have several clients that are also certified coaches through The Life Coach School. And it will be fun because a lot of us will be in Dallas together for this workshop. And so, I’ve decided to put together a dinner for the coaches, for my clients that will be there. And it’s going to be a great opportunity for us to get together and support each other and mastermind. And I’m just so excited about that. It’s going to be so much fun.

Alright, so I feel like today’s episode is going to be a really important one. And it’s not that I don’t think every episode is important, because I do. And in fact, I want you to know that everything that I share in my podcast episodes are all things that I know, without a doubt, will help you build and grow and scale your coaching business to the level that you want. I’m fully confident in that.

But I think in today’s conversation in particular, I believe this to be a really, really, really important concept for you to get. And I think it’s so important because what I want to teach you today, it’s a concept, it’s something that we don’t learn in school.

In fact, when I really think our school system and I think about even our higher ed system – and many of you know that I worked in higher ed for 15-plus years in my career prior to launching my coaching practice, which is probably a conversation for another podcast episode.

But when I look at our education system, we’re actually conditioned the opposite of what we’re going to talk about today. And so, I just think it’s really interesting now, being in this phase in my business, being in this phase of my own development, my own growth, my own journey in this process that I can see this clearly and I can see the power of this, and also really look at, again, look at the school system and how we’re conditioned throughout our lives to really believe otherwise.

And so, that’s why I feel like this is such an important topic today because the deeper and more work that I do on myself and challenge myself through my own self-coaching, and with the coaches that I work with, through my own transformation and growth, the more I see how much this really is missing when I look at what we actually learn throughout our lives within the school system.

And so, it’s really become my mission, as you know, to help close the dream gap, meaning my primary mission with the work that I do in my coaching practice is to help my clients, and really my goal is to help as many people as possible, even if they’re not building a coaching practice, to be able to close the gap from where they are to where they want to go.

And what that means to me is to really help them step into their full potential. That is what I love about this work. And when I think about my life’s work and that being my life’s work, and also the legacy that I am in the process of building through my work, it really is about helping others achieve their true potential.

I really believe and feel, on a very deep level, that this is my genius zone it’s absolutely my passion. It’s absolutely my purpose. And it’s something that I’m not going to stop talking about anytime soon.

And so, I really want to challenge you today to really think about what your mission is. I want you to really consider, what do you really want your legacy to be? Because I think that’s one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. Because let’s be honest, yes, we all want to make money, we all want to make money in our business.

In fact, if we don’t make money, we don’t have a business. And we can’t be in business if we’re not making money. But I want you to think about your business at a higher level. I want you to think about what is your legacy? What is your mission and what is your purpose?

I believe these questions are so important for you to answer and for you to understand for yourself. Because the truth of the matter is, it doesn’t matter if you’re making 50K or 100K or even a million. What matters is how you’re contributing. What matters is how you’re growing as a person.

And it’s amazing when I think about some of my clients who, in a very short time, in a matter of just a few months, and in some cases weeks, it’s amazing how much personal transformation can happen in such a short period of time. And what the impact that can have on your business.

And so, I want you all to really consider this. Answer this for yourself because here’s what I’ve come to know. You have to know the answer to these questions because, if you don’t, I hate to say it, but it’s going to be a very hard road for you to build this business without having a compelling reason why you’re doing it. You have to know where you’re going.

And so, this is a perfect transition into what I really want to talk to you all about today. What I want to talk to you all today about is evidence. And specifically, how we allow the absence of evidence to derail our business.

And I realize here that using the term derail is a pretty strong word. But I’m actually okay with that because, at the end of the day, that’s the truth of what I see happen. That’s what can happen in just an instant if we let it.

And so, I want to start this conversation by first reading you quote by Prince Prichard that says, “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” And I’m going to read that again. “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”

This is one of my most favorite quotes of all time. I absolutely love this quote, and I want you to ponder this. “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” I realize that this might be a bit of a mind-bender. But at the same time, that’s also exactly what I want it to be for you because, for me, that’s exactly what it was when I first heard it.

And as I’ve been thinking and just experiencing things in my own business, as well as looking at my clients and what they’re experiencing in their own business, it’s really been on my heart to have this conversation with you today because the truth is, building a coaching business can be a challenging game at times.

You all know there is so much to learn in this process. There is so much personal growth that’s required in order to build a successful business. And the truth is that who you are when you start this process is not the version of you that is required to build and grow the business to where you want to grow it to.

It requires extreme resilience, extreme emotional maturity, extreme personal responsibility. And yet, even when we do all of these things, sometimes we still don’t have the results that we want. And so, this is what I’m talking about.

This is where I have found such power in this quote, in this concept that the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I want you to think about how truly powerful that can be. Just stop for a moment and I want you to think about what you want most in your business this year.

So, for some of you, maybe it’s to make your first 100,000 this year, or maybe it’s to help a certain number of clients this year. And I know for others of you, maybe it’s being able to transition fully out of your corporate or maybe your professional job and to be able to replace or exceed your current salary.

So, whatever that is, I want you to look at what are your current thoughts, what are those beliefs about where your business is at? For some of you, if we were to really dig in and put words to those beliefs, they probably sound like something to the effect of, “Who am I? Nobody’s going to buy what I’m offering. I just don’t believe that I’m capable of that level of success.”

So, whatever that is, I want you to identify that for yourself. And once you’ve identified it, I want you to take it a step further. I want you to think about why you’re choosing to believe that you’re not capable of the level of success that you really want. I want you to challenge yourself and ask yourself why you’re choosing to believe that nobody is going to take you seriously.

Here’s what I see happen. The way our brain works is that it’s conditioned to look for evidence. Our brain likes certainty. And I’ve talked about this before in previous podcast episodes. We all have what’s called a reticular activating system, or RAS for short, which is actually one of the most helpful and most important aspects of our brain.

And what the reticular activating system does is it looks for evidence based on what we’ve decided is true. So, whatever we’ve decided is true for us, that’s what it will find. So, for example, if we believe that we’re worthy of making $100,000 per year in our business, then our reticular activating system will automatically look for that evidence and show us the ways and bring things into our awareness that prove to us that we are in fact worthy of making that type of money.

But on the flipside, if we have a belief, either consciously or unconsciously that we’re not worthy of making $100,000 per year, then our reticular activation system will also show us evidence of that. It will bring into our awareness and reinforce that belief through various ways.

So, I want you to understand this because it’s really, really, really important for you. It’s so important because when we’re trying, especially at first, to build a business, we have a very little evidence as to why or how we’re going to be able to build – let’s just use $100,000 as an example  we have very little evidence in our lives that we can build a 100K business.

And that’s usually because, quite simply, we’ve never done it before. So for most of you, if you’ve never built a business from the ground up, you’ve likely never built a coaching business before. So therefore, all of your thoughts, those beliefs that so often creep in when we’re in this process, they sound like, “You’re never going to be able to do this,” or, “You’re crazy for trying to do this,” or, “You’ll never be able to build your business this quickly that will let you transition out of your corporate job and into your business fulltime.” Whatever version of that that is for you is whatever you have accepted at an unconscious level.

And that is what your reticular activating system is then going to show you evidence of, regardless of whether or not it supports your goals. So this is why this is critical for you to understand. But here’s the great news with this; once you understand how this works, once you understand how the reticular activating system actually works for you, you can direct your thoughts and direct your beliefs so that you are creating new neural pathways, those new neural connections that will in fact support you in your goals.

But it’s when we’re in this place when we’re trying to create these new neural pathways, before the new neural connections actually exist where I see this really coming into play. This is why understanding that the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence can change everything for you.

And I am telling you, it’s changed everything for me. It’s changed everything for me to be able to create what I’ve created so far in my business. Because when you’re in this in between place where you’ve got the goal to build the 100K or million-dollar business but you don’t actually have the results of that yet, you haven’t actually generated that result, your brain, like any other brain, is going to look for evidence and reasons why it’s impossible, why you’re not capable if you accept that.

It’s going to look and it’s going to present you the evidence that reinforces that belief because that’s what you’ve accepted. So, this is why understanding this concept and understanding the importance of consciously directing your thoughts can change your business.

But here’s what else I want you to really understand. Once we do in fact understand this, it’s not enough to just understand it on an intellectual level. We have to be able to put it into practice. We have to be able to actually apply it in our life. It’s not enough to understand it on a conceptual level.

We have to then implement it. It is only the application that creates the transformation. So, what I mean by this is now that we’ve had this conversation, so now that you have this awareness, let’s say you have a better awareness now that we’ve talked about this, on how this all works, then it becomes up to you to actually apply it in your life.

And what I mean by that is consciously working to direct your thoughts, looking at your beliefs and challenging what they are, creating new beliefs and new thoughts that then support you and help you create those new outcomes that you want in your business. But in order to do that, you have to also understand that this quote, “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence,” you have to understand that as you’re moving through this process of building a business, you’re going to be challenged daily with evidence that is contrary to what you want.

You have to understand that you’re going to be presented evidence every day by your brain, which by the way, it’s just doing it’s job, that is going to reinforce to you why it’s not possible for you to have the level of success that you want. This is why I want to bring this to you today. And this is why it’s so important for you to be onto your own brain.

You have to understand how this works. Literally, your success will depend on this. And here’s what’s more; you have to also have faith. You have to understand that even though you haven’t yet generated that 100-grand in your bank account that confirms to you that you’re capable of making it in your coaching business, you have to believe that it’s possible. And you have to accept that it is, that it is in fact possible for you, even if all you see right now proves to you otherwise.

Have faith. Understand that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. This is everything, you all. I cannot stress how important it is for you to embrace this concept in your business. It will change everything for you once you do, I promise.

Alright, everyone, I loved being able to share this with you today. Like I said, this is something that’s been on my heart over the last few weeks, so I hope this was exactly what you needed to hear today. Go out and get after it. Go after what you really want in your business. Don’t allow the absence of evidence to be evidence of absence to you for why you can’t build the business of your dreams, for why it’s not possible for you this year. I promise you, it’s all possible; all of it. believe it. Alright, have a great week. Take care. Bye-bye.

Hey, before you go, I have something amazing I want to share with you. To celebrate the launch of the show, I’m going to be giving away three free VIP Strategy Sessions where I’ll be diving deep into your business and helping you put a strategy in place for the next 90 days, so you have a real game plan on how to create results in your business, and finally gain momentum.

I’m going to be giving away one free VIP Strategy Session, the same VIP Strategy Session I offer to all of my highest-level clients, to three lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review this show on Apple Podcasts. Visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode. Thanks so much.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Life Coach Business Podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build, grow and scale your business and accelerate your results, visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com.