Ep #13: How to Create a Brighter Future by Leaving Your Past Behind

Welcome to The Life Coach Business Podcast, Episode #13.

Welcome to The Life Coach Business Podcast, a show for coaches who are ready to up-level their business and take their impact, leadership, and results to a whole new level. If you’re ready to start taking powerful action and become the leader your business needs in order to grow and thrive, this show is for you. I’m your host, Amanda Karlstad, certified life and business coach, and entrepreneurial leadership expert. Now, let’s get down to business.

Hello and welcome everyone, happy new year and happy new decade. How exciting is this, that we get to officially turn the page into a new decade? I think this is so, so exciting. I know I am so excited for 2020. Are you excited? I’m so excited because it is going to be an amazing year, I’ve already decided that. Isn’t that great? We can just decide.

I have decided it’s going to be an amazing year, because there have just been so many things that I’ve been working on behind the scenes, so many things that I am going to be sharing with my clients, so many resources, so many things that are going to help them accelerate their business growth in 2020, that I just can’t wait for them to crush it. Frankly, there are going to be so many things that I’m going to be rolling out to just support them 100%, and just fully support them in their business growth, and as they move forward. And I just can’t wait.

And so for those of you that maybe are new to the podcast, or maybe haven’t heard, I am so excited about my brand-new mastermind coaching program that I’ll be launching very soon, and I really believe it’s going to be a total game changer. If you’re not already in it, you totally should be. So if you are looking for a mastermind, if you’re really looking to make 2020 a breakthrough year in your business, I want you to be sure to go to my website, amandakarlstadcoaching.com, and just schedule a call with me as soon as possible, and let’s have a conversation about where you’re at, and where you want to go. And I’ll tell you more about the mastermind at that time, and we’ll know whether or not it’s a fit. I just want you to know that it’s going to be amazing, and I’m so, so excited for everyone that’s in this group. So my intention is really to help my clients with this mastermind, to help them build, grow, and scale their business, not only in 2020, but help them position themselves to be able to scale beyond 2020.

I do this in a number of ways, but I want you all to know that it’s really important to me that the work that I do with clients, number one, that it’s holistic. What I mean by that is that there’s nothing missing from the program. And I’m really serious about the resources, about the support, about how I’ve structured this program, so that it’s structured in a way that it includes everything. Meaning it’s all encompassing, it’s everything my clients need, or really anyone needs for that matter, if they’re working to build and grow a coaching, a consulting, or any type of service-based business in the industry today.

It really, I believe, is the perfect combination of mindset, strategy, accountability, support, all of it. It’s not only designed to take my clients from where they are to where they want to go, but it’s also structured in a way that it’s going to position them well beyond their current level, and where they even think they want to go, to really become market leaders.

I’m really, really passionate about this work, and I just have to say, I am in love with this program, I love this work so much, I love that I can help my clients finally get full clarity in their businesses, and get full clarity on where they’re going. And I love that this work helps them finally get unstuck, and finally step into the true identity of the leader their business needs. And I think the most amazing thing is that I love to be able to help my clients see what’s actually possible for them, and help them get beyond that level of where they’re currently at, or even where they think they want to go.

I love it all so much. And for all of my clients, I love you all so much. You all know who you are. You are all amazing, and you’re doing just amazing work in the world. And so I just want to say you all inspire me so, so much every day. So I guess with that, if you’re not part of this program, you should definitely join us. It can really change everything for you.

All right, let’s get into today’s topic. I am so inspired to talk to you about today’s topic. And in fact, as I was thinking about what I wanted to share with you all today, what I really wanted my message to be to you all, being that it’s this first podcast episode in 2020, I was mulling around several ideas of things that I do want to talk to you all about. And really, if I were to break everything down, when I look at my ideas and the content that I have for this podcast, I probably have at least a couple of years’ worth of content and topics that I want to talk to you all about. I’m just really, really passionate about this work.

And so that’s definitely one of the reasons that I started this podcast, and that I choose to bring you a podcast every week, is because I feel like there’s so much that I want to talk about, and there’s so much that I want to share with you. And I want you all to know that all of these topics, all of these teachings that I’m bringing to you every week, they have all made a profound difference in my own life, and I know they can make a huge difference in yours as well.

So my intention with this podcast is really to bring you the most relevant, the most cutting edge, the most powerful teachings that I know will help you be more successful in business, and honestly more successful in your life. So whether you’re growing a coaching business, or any other business for that matter, all of it’s going to be relevant to you. And for those of my listeners who are in a leadership, or in the corporate space, all of these teachings, everything that I’m bringing to you each week is 100% transferrable to you as well.

So with that, as I was thinking about us all turning the page officially to the new year, to the new decade, to 2020, I really felt this overwhelming sense that I needed to talk to you all about something that on the surface, it might seem like a very simplistic concept, but when we step back and look at how this is actually playing out in our lives, it’s something that can really allow us to take things to a whole new level in our life, in our business, and really in every facet of our life. I believe it’s really that profound.

And it’s interesting because when I look back at the first 12 episodes of my podcast, and the concepts, and the teachings that I’ve introduced in these first few months of this podcast, they really all do relate in a way, and flow into exactly what I’m about to talk to you about today. And so they really are all connected by this distinction, this concept that I’m going to cover today. And so with that, let’s dive into it.

What I want to bring to you all today is something that, even though I’ve been in the personal development space for the past few years, and I’ve always been a student of, and practiced various forms of personal development throughout my life and career, this one distinction that I’m bringing to you today has the potential to change everything for you. So no matter how much you’ve immersed yourself, or how much you’ve been involved in your own personal, or professional development, what we’re going to talk about can really change your life.

And that is understanding that your past is just your past. It’s understanding that your past has no bearing on today. It’s understanding that your past does not create your future. So let me explain. I know for many of you, your first reaction might be that I’m crazy, or that this can’t be right, that this is wrong, that this can’t be. And if you’re questioning this, I can totally get it. So let me explain.

A few episodes ago, in episode number seven, to be exact, I talk about this concept, I talk about the concept of how your beliefs create your reality. And in that episode, I broke down in detail how all of this works, and I gave you some science behind it all. So if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly recommend you go back, and listen to episode number seven, as it directly relates to what we’re talking about today here as well. Okay. So in that episode, I talked about the thought model, about how our beliefs, our thoughts, our emotions, our actions, and our results are all related.

And what I will say about this is that this really is a universal principle that many in the personal development space, if you’re in that space at all, you’ll find that many people talk about that. And so in my approach, in the approach that I use with my clients, the approach that I take is based on the fact that we all have beliefs in our lives. And the distinction is that those beliefs turn into conscious thoughts for every one of us. What happens is, is once we make a conscious thought, that then biologically triggers an emotion within us. And once that emotion is triggered, that emotion then dictates the quality of action or the inaction that we take in our lives. From there, the results that we have in our lives are then a product of those actions that we’ve taken. And so in that episode, I go into detail, and I explain the how and the why on how that model is true for all of us in our lives.

It really is a universal truth; it really is something that is true for every one of us. And so I think it’s really important to understand that. So again, I highly recommend you go back, and listen to episode number seven if you haven’t. But for today, what I want to hone into is something very specific with all of this. And what that is, and what I want to hone in on today is the fact that while we all have our past, and we all have our own experiences of our past, or in our past, there’s a really important distinction for us to make, that even though we’ve had these experiences, whether that’s how we were brought up, who our parents were, what it was like growing up in our household, whatever life experiences we’ve had.

I want to challenge you all today with the idea that although we’ve got these unique experiences in our past, I want to open you up to the idea that, that does not mean that whatever those experiences have been, that we need to carry those same beliefs, and thus create the same pattern in our present.

What happens is, is when we create those patterns in our present, that then also creates our future. So what I really want to challenge you all with today is the idea that your past is not relevant to your future. And in fact, it’s not even relevant to your today. And so I want to open you all up to the idea that your past is just your past, that really … that’s it. There’s nothing more, there’s nothing less. That your past is literally just a circumstance, it’s just a neutral circumstance in your life. Which means it really has no impact on you today, and it definitely doesn’t have an impact on your future. Now, I know many of you probably have a big question mark in your head of how does this work? How could this be true? And so again, I want you to know I get it, and I get it because I didn’t get this for many years.

But here’s the reality. The reality is that as a society, we have all been conditioned to believe that our past matters.

We are conditioned as a society to believe that let’s say, for example, in order to heal ourselves, or in order to move forward in our lives, or to feel better, if we’re trying to move on from painful experiences, that we must first dig up our past, that we must sit with our past, we must stir everything up, everything that’s ever happened to us, everything that was ever said to us.

And I know for those of you that have experienced a traditional therapy approach, I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. And so I do want to be clear about something, I’m not saying that therapy isn’t effective. In fact, I think therapy can be extremely effective given the right scenario. But what I’m talking about here today, in this context of building a business, is that when it comes to being an entrepreneur, it really doesn’t matter what so and so said to you in your freshman year.

It really doesn’t matter if you were told at some point in your life that you weren’t good enough. It really doesn’t matter if you were told by your parents or someone else in your life that you weren’t capable of something, or that you weren’t smart enough. So whatever that sounded like for you, what I want you to see here today is that none of that matters in this context, none of it, zero. Yet we’re all conditioned to believe, and we’re also habituated in a way that we operate as if whatever we’ve been told, or whatever we’ve experienced in the past equals our today, that it equals our future. And so we operate by nature of our brains, and by our society that our past equals our future.

So I want you to really think about this. Pause this podcast even, if you need to, and step back, and see how this is true in your life. Where in your life were you told, or did you form a belief that you weren’t good enough, or that you weren’t capable of something?

Maybe it was from your parents, or maybe it was from someone else, but what was that belief that you created as a child, as a result of that experience? What was that? And then I want you to look at the reality. We have all had this in our lives in one form or another, and for most of us, we allow this pattern to play out for us today.

So ask yourself, where in your life does a belief like this, where is there a pattern like this still playing out for you? Because I know for most of my clients, these beliefs, these patterns, they directly correlate with exactly where they’re at today in their business. And in fact, when we really start digging into it, we can see with 100% clarity how in almost every case, the beliefs that they’ve been carrying with them, or those experiences they’ve had in their lives are directly impacting, and thus creating their current level of success to this point.

And it’s so interesting when we can see with 100% clarity how this has been impacting them building their businesses. And I have to say this awareness is so, so critical, because not only does it impact where we are today, it also impacts where we think we can go. It impacts the level of success we believe we can have either consciously or subconsciously, and what we’re capable of in the future. But here’s the distinction with this, here’s what I want to really offer to you all today. I want to offer to you all today that none of it matters, that none of it needs to have any bearing, any impact on where you are today. And it definitely does not need to impact where you’re going in your business.

So let that really sink in, and really consider if you were to believe that, how would that change things for you? How would that change how you’re approaching your business, how you’re approaching the new year, how you’re approaching your day today? What if you really knew and believed that your past didn’t matter?

I know for me, this distinction has been huge. This has been one of the greatest distinctions in my life, and it’s made one of the biggest impacts in my business, to know and to deeply understand that none of it matters, none of it. The result of this has been profound in my life. So I want you to look at this for yourself too, because again, as a society we are taught and conditioned to the complete opposite. And in fact, whatever upbringing we’ve had, wherever we’ve grown up, whatever we’ve experienced, we’re habituated in a way that we believe, definitely subconsciously, and a lot of times consciously that all of it dictates our future. And if you want to see examples of this, I encourage you to just look around, it’s really everywhere.

And so just as an example here in the United States, we have examples upon examples of this. When we look at just some of the biggest issues in our society, and when you can really break this down, and separate from the emotion of it, so much of this is based on the past, yet we’re using it to inform our future.

And so much of this is based on things that happened to us, where we’ve formed certain beliefs for ourselves, whether that could be on an individual basis or even as a society. And we allow these beliefs, and in essence these past events then influence our future. So I want you all to really think about this. And I think a great example of this is Carol Dweck and her work, and what she talks about in her book Growth Mindset. And in this book, she goes deep into the concept of what a growth mindset is, and what the impact it has on learning intelligence, and really, academic achievement.

Her work goes into detail about what a fixed mindset is, which is essentially having an underlying belief system that, for example, intelligence is “fixed,” which means that if we have this belief system that we’re only capable to the level of intelligence that we believe we are. It’s so, so fascinating.

And so I think a great example of this, that I know a lot of you can probably relate to, is math. When you have a fixed mindset, you believe that either you can, or you can’t do math, right? So having a growth mindset on the other hand, refers to having a belief system that you can learn math, right? That you can become smarter in math. And so that’s just one simple example that I think really demonstrates the difference between a fixed, versus a growth mindset.

So if you’re not familiar with Dweck’s work, I highly recommend it, and I really recommend that you read her book, Growth Mindset, because it’s completely fantastic, and totally fascinating to me. And so the whole premise here, the whole connection here with what I’m talking to you all about today, is that we all, no matter where we came from, we all hold certain beliefs in our lives that very often we formed as young children, that are on a subconscious level, that are now forming our belief system today, and they’re molding our reality today.

And so for some of us, that sounds like we can never be capable of a certain level of success because we’re not smart enough. And for others of us, it might mean that we can’t be a successful entrepreneur, because we didn’t come from the right pedigree. And for others of us, it might mean we can never get to the level we really want to because we’re not worthy of that level of success.

What I want to offer to you all today is that none of it matters. I want you to know that your past does not have to equal your future, especially as you’re growing your business. Here’s what I want you to know, know that the fact is our brain is always looking for patterns. It’s called the reticular activating system, and I talk in detail about this in episode seven of my podcast.

And so because of this, because our brains are always looking for these known patterns, what happens is, is we were maybe habituated in a certain way in our past. And so therefore, because our brain recognizes this as a pattern, our brain automatically brings that experience to our present.

And so that is why for most of us, we allow our present, and we allow our future to be determined by our past, because our brains are literally every day, and in every moment, bringing our past into our present. And that’s really its job, because it’s using the filter that’s based on past belief systems, that many times we’re not even aware of, that then dictate how we react to, and how we shape our current reality. And from there, that is how we create our future. This is a huge distinction, and it’s just the start of this conversation. But I wanted to bring it to you all today as I felt like it was perfect timing with the new year, and we’re going to be continuing this conversation in depth much, much more.

But for today, I want you to know this, your past is just your past, it does not have to impact your today. Your past does not have to equal your future, especially in 2020 and beyond. It’s a new decade my friends, you have an opportunity to create an amazing year ahead, you have an opportunity to create an amazing business, you have an opportunity to create an amazing life.

All right. I hope this message served you all today. I’ll be back next week to talk to you all again. Create an amazing week this week. I’ll talk to you all again very soon. Take care. Bye, bye.

Hey, before you go, I have something amazing I want to share with you. To celebrate the launch of this show, I’m going to be giving away three free VIP Strategy Sessions, where I’ll be diving deep into your business and helping you put a strategy in place for the next 90 days, so you have a real game plan on how to create results in your business and finally gain momentum.

I’m going to be giving away one free VIP Strategy Session, the same VIP Strategy Session I offer to all of my highest-level clients, to three lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review this show on Apple Podcasts. Visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode. Thanks so much.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Life Coach Business Podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build, grow and scale your business and accelerate your results, visit amandakarlstadcoaching.com.